Maybe
by WinryMarellie
Summary: Mild language warning. Perhaps if things didn't occur as they did, the relationship of the two trolls could have ended differently. However, now they must accept the hardships. SolluxAradia one shot


"do you thiink iit could have been diifferent?" the troll asked, looking over at the ghost of a girl who sat beside him, well, not really. She couldn't really sit much at all anymore, considering her current state.

The girl didn't respond to him. Her eyes were white, vacant, it looked as if she had completely been taken into another world, but by some cruel twist of fate, she some how remained bound to Alternia.

"aa?" he asked, leaning a bit closer.

"…" she still remained quiet. She did this a lot lately. Her words, tone, actions all together became vacant, distant. They lacked any emotion and all together, she seemed detached.

Sollux frowned as he drew his eyes away from her, "damn biitch…" he cursed under his breath as the thought of Vriska surfaced to his mind. The manipulative girl was the whole reason for this, if she never had that power, none of this probably never would have happened. Damn flarping, damn Vriska, damn mind honey.

The young troll could never truly forgive himself for what had happened that day long ago. He couldn't help but let the guilt sink in on him as he thought about the ghost of a girl that was next to him now.

"…have y0u m0ved 0n?" the ghost suddenly spoke, her words seemed to drift along with the gently Alternian wind.

It was Sollux's turn to be silent. How could he even tell her of his growing emotions towards the sea dweller? All that time before, he was rather positive that he wanted to have Aradia as his matesprit, but he presumed that the sudden physical separation sort of messed that up for the both of them.

Especially now. Since her death, Aradia had not been the same girl that he used to know. He longed for a time that she would be the same, that she would smile like they used to. He didn't care if she went back to flarping, he didn't care if she wanted to hang out with Tavros and everyone else, he just wanted to see the same old troll he used to love.

"do you remember anythiing?" he asked.

"y0u are av0iding my question." she replied bluntly.

"…" he didn't respond at first, it was as if he was trying to collect his thoughts. Sollux stared up at the ruins as he interlocked his fingers, trying to think of the words to say, "iit'2 hard two 2tiill love 2omeone after they're gone." he spoke quietly.

"i'm still here." she whispered, not turning to face him, "but it must n0t be the same when it's n0t physical. s0rry ab0ut that."

Sollux quickly looked back over at her, "ii never 2aiid that…" Although, he couldn't deny that it was true. After you lose someone in that way, and only their ghost remained, it became incredibly hard to remain attached to them, no matter how much you wanted to.

"…it's hard t0 hide s0mething like that." he was sure that Aradia would have sighed, if she could still take a breath of air like she once could.

He reached over to touch her hand, but it passed right through.

She didn't respond.

"…ii mii22 you." he whispered.

_And it is by this point that our story takes up back. Back to a time before any of these strange events occurred that completely ruined the relationship that the two trolls had, leading to their potential matespritship. _

_At this point in time, Sollux had come to visit Aradia. They had taken a long walk together throughout the area surrounding her hive. The skies had grown dark, and the sparkling stars from galaxies millions of miles away had illuminated the dark matter. _

_He wasn't exactly sure about what the relationship the two of them were standing at during this moment. He assumed that she considered him a friend, but he couldn't deny that he felt some warm emotions building inside of him each time he looked down at the ram-horned girl._

_She was smiling, staring up at the sky above them. "beautiful." she whispered. Then let out a soft sigh, "apparently they think it is beautiful t00." _

"_you mean the voiice2?" he asked, looked at her, "are they 2tiill bothering you?" _

_Aradia shook her head and sat down in the lawn, brushing the textured ground softly with her fingertips, "it's similar t0 backgr0und n0ise n0w…"_

_Sollux let out a quiet sigh as well, taking a seat down next to the girl. He joined her in looking up at the sky, pushing his multicolored glasses up, adjusting them. _

_The female troll leaned against him, exhaling quietly as she did, closing her eyes for a brief moment._

_The other troll's eyes widened as he felt his heart began to race. He looked down at the top of the girl's head, trying to think of what to say in response, if there was really anything to say about this. He wasn't entirely sure as to if you were supposed to say anything, or if you just let things happen. He wasn't very good at things like this._

"_lovely niight…" he muttered, trying to break the silence._

_Aradia made a small sound in agreement, then leaned herself closer to him. She took on of his hands in hers and began to fiddle with it, lacing her fingers between his, tracing her fingers over the joints in his hand, not really saying much of anything._

_The other still didn't know what to do at this point. He tried to create a conversation, but that didn't seem to work much. _

_The girl smiled a bit, she could sense the way the boy was feeling at she tried her hardest not to release a giggle regarding the matter. She couldn't help but feel a little happy, a bit relieved. She wasn't sure as to where they stood, but she was glad it was at least somewhere in the realm of redrom. _

"_what w0uld y0u c0nsider us?" she asked, looking up at him._

_Sollux looked down, he felt as though his cheeks had flushed slightly. "we're troll2." he replied simply._

_Aradia sighed, "i kn0w that…" she tried not to laugh as she stared up at him, "y0u kn0w what i mean.."_

"_oh…" Sollux inhaled sharply, trying to contain all of his emotions. "ii…ii don't know really…"_

_The girl let out another sigh as she sat up, turning to face him, "y0u s0und really unsure…" _

_He shook his head, "no, no…ii diidn't 2ay ii diidn't liike you or anythiing."_

"…_s0 d0 y0u?" Aradia asked, staring into her eyes. She felt somewhat hopefully, truly believing he would say yes. Maybe it was simply because that is what she really wanted, and she knew he felt it, she just wanted to hear it from his mouth. _

"_iit'2 not liike ii'm iintendiing two look for 2omeone two be paiiling wiith at thii2 moment…" he replied quietly._

_She leaned in a bit closer, "i'm n0t saying we need t0 think ab0ut that right n0w…" she sighed, taking his face in her hands gently, "i just want t0 kn0w what y0u feel ab0ut me…"_

_He was quiet, "ii thiink you miight know already…"_

_A small smile crossed Aradia's lips as she brought her face close to his, pressing their foreheads together. "but i still want t0 hear it…"_

_Sollux didn't say anything at first, he simply just smiled. "ii liike you a lot…" he spoke barely above a whisper as if he didn't want anyone aside from her to hear, even though they were completely and totally alone together in this moment. _

_Aradia's smile widened as the female troll pressed her lips to his, taking in the joy of the moment._

_He wrapped his arms carefully around her and pulled her down to the Alternian earth with him, holding the girl close in his arms beneath the starlit sky._

_Sollux felt nothing but air around him. The space where there should have been a girl, the area in which his arms were outstretched, were empty, vacant. He looked at her, seeing her transparent form. The arms wrapped around her, the arms that were supposed to be embracing the girl were in actuality embracing nothingness. Aradia wasn't there anymore. _

_The boy troll pulled away and quickly looked down, straining himself as he tried not to cry, but the tears won in his battle. The yellow-toned tears streamed down his cheeks as he bawled his hands into tight fists. "dammiit." he muttered._

_The ghost girl didn't speak, she just remained quiet as she allowed the boy to deal with his own grief. She couldn't allow herself to interfere, it was something Sollux had to deal with on his own._

"_ii mii22 you…" his voice trembled. _

_Aradia began to drift slightly, making her way so she was in front of him. She placed her ghost hands atop his. Well, more so they levitated just above his skin. _

_He looked up at her, his multicolored eyes staring into her white, cold and lifeless ones. Seeing her face to face just made him feel worse. He couldn't bare to look at her and quickly averted his eyes, trying to keep himself from crying any more._

_She was silent as she watched him. Trying to gather the words to say._

"_s0llux…" she whispered, her tone still vacant. _

_He looked up at her again, his eyes staring in wonderment as he watched a small smile begin to cross her transparent lips. This was the most emotion he had ever seen her display since the incident. For a moment, it gave his heart a small flutter of joy._

"…_we s0metimes have to gr0w up bef0re we are ready." she spoke, "it's hard…but we just have t0 d0 it."_

"_ii almo2t don't want two…" he replied, his hands loosening as he desperately tried to grasp her hands. He wanted to hold them again, he was desperate as he grabbed for her hands, each time they slipped through. Tears built up in his eyes each time his hand fell through. "ii mii22 you!" he cried, "plea2e!" he begged._

_Aradia didn't say anything. She just watched the begging Sollux and almost pitied him. She wished she could have done something, but there isn't much for a dead girl to do._

"_maybe y0u sh0uld g0..." she suggested, pulling her transparent body away._

"_no!" he cried, reaching out to grab her. She was too fast, drifting away from him each time he got closer._

_The ghost girl shook her head, "please, s0llux…" she replied, "it's pr0bably n0t g00d f0r us t0 talk…0r f0r y0u t0 c0me by anym0re…"_

"_plea2e!" he cried, "don't 2ay thiing2 liike that!" he extended his arms out for her. _

_She stared at him with vacant eyes and frowned. The ghost girl brought herself close to him, coming into his arms._

_Sollux pulled his arms in tight, trying to bring her body close to his, just like he used to, back when he could still feel her touch._

_But there was nothingness. She wasn't there anymore._

_Aradia kissed his forehead gently. Sollux felt nothing, he just simply couldn't feel that connection to her any more, no matter now much he truly wanted to._

"_ii love you…" he whispered._

"_y0u l0ved me…" she corrected._

"_plea2e don't tell me that…" he begged, sobbing as he spoke. "iit'2 not true…"_

"_it is…" she replied, pulling away again, "y0u can't l0ve a dead girl…"_

_Sollux's head fell into his hands, he tried to control himself, but he couldn't. He wanted so badly to be with her again, to still love her, but she was completely right, and he hated that fact. He didn't look up at her again, he knew that she was going back to what became her new hobby, smashing the ruins she loitered in so often nowadays._

_He listened as rocks broke against one another. Cracking as they smashed into rubble. He didn't move, he just sat there and listened. This was as close as he could ever get to remembering that Aradia once existed, that she once occupied the place next to him._

_It's hard to love a ghost girl, no matter how much he wanted to think he could._

_As she lifted the rocks, she tried to block her mind of the pained Sollux. Aradia used her new found hobby to try and forget everything. The only problem with being dead is that you never received the same satisfaction of actually lifting a rock and throwing it. All of this relied purely on her mind. However, it was her only way to release her emotions._

_It's hard to love a living boy, no matter how much she wanted to think she could._

_Perhaps things could have been different if none of the events that transpired had happened in the first place. She couldn't help but think from time to time that it was all her fault. She had to get back at Vriska for what she did to Tavros, and she only figured Vriska would take her response to far. What Aradia had done, she didn't consider bad, assuming she knew the actual feelings she was forcing onto Vriska, that constant fear of the dead surrounding. Maybe she was just used to it so it didn't seem all that big. But, she knew regardless what she had to do. Tavros was her friend, her fellow flarper, she couldn't have let Vriska's crimes go unpunished._

_But look what happened. She couldn't blame anyone though. She didn't want Sollux to continue harboring all these feelings about the incident because she still loved him, and she couldn't let the one she loved feel all this pain. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed him to let go of her, it was the only way he could ever get over the pain of what happened. _

_If only it could have ended differently. _


End file.
